Candles for the Dead Read online

  He was very close. The chair behind her prevented her from moving away. ‘I – I don’t know what to say,’ she stammered. ‘I mean, I didn’t expect … I’m not sure I’m…’ She floundered helplessly.

  ‘Up to it?’ he said. ‘I wouldn’t have recommended promoting you if I had any doubts about your ability, Beth. And I shall be here to help you.’

  She tried to draw away, but his hands caught her by the shoulders. The edge of the chair pressed hard against the back of her legs.

  Gresham was looking at her, frowning. ‘Well?’ he said impatiently. ‘I thought you’d be pleased.’

  ‘Oh, I am pleased,’ she said hastily. ‘I just don’t know what to say, that’s all. It was so – so unexpected, Mr Gresham.’ Sweat prickled on her skin. Don’t let me do anything to make him change his mind, she pleaded silently. Gresham had thrown her a lifeline, and she must grasp it with both hands. ‘Believe me, I am grateful, Mr Gresham.’

  Arthur Gresham gripped her shoulders tighter. ‘I was sure you would be, Beth,’ he said softly. His small pink tongue moistened his lips. ‘We’ll be working closer together, you and I, much closer, and I can’t tell you how much I look forward to that. I’m sure you must feel the same.’ His hands slid down her arms and his fingers brushed her breasts.

  She closed her eyes. She should have known, she told herself bitterly. There was always a price. Arthur Gresham was known throughout the office as a man with roving hands, but so far she’d been able to avoid the worst of his casual explorations. She felt his hands slip round her waist; felt him pull her toward him; felt his hardness press against her body. Faintly, through the roar inside her head, she heard his voice again, soft, insistent against her ear.

  ‘You do want the job, don’t you, Beth? I mean, if I thought…’

  She forced herself to speak. ‘Oh, yes, Mr Gresham,’ she said hoarsely, loathing herself as she did so. ‘I do want the job.’

  Abruptly, he let her go, and she stood there like a statue, immobile, eyes still closed, hardly daring to breathe as he moved away from her.

  Reprieve! She opened her eyes; forced herself to move. ‘I think I’d better be going…’ The words died on her lips as she saw him at the door; watched him turn the key, then take it from the lock and put it in his pocket. He smiled and moved toward her. ‘No one will disturb us now,’ he said.

  ‘Mr Gresham,’ she gasped feebly. ‘I…’

  His hot hands slid over her body, drawing her dress up over her hips as he pulled her to him. ‘Call me Arthur,’ he murmured as his mouth came down hard on hers.

  * * *

  Beth sat there in the half-light in the tiny cubicle, head pounding, every limb quivering as she tried to erase the last half-hour from her memory. She felt sick; she felt soiled, but somewhere inside her head a small voice kept saying: It was your choice, Beth. It’s your fault. You could have said no.

  How could I? she thought despairingly. There was no choice if she wished to keep her job and avoid discovery. How she had managed to walk through the outer office past the girls without collapsing she did not know. Tears rolled slowly down her cheeks and she tasted salt. She must look a mess. She took a tissue from her handbag and scrubbed furiously at her face.

  The door of the Ladies opened and someone came in.

  ‘Beth? Beth, you in there? Are you all right?’ Rachel Fairmont sounded hesitant, as if she were not quite sure whether she should be asking.

  Beth forced herself to speak. ‘I’m fine. Really, I’m fine, Rachel. Just came over a little faint, that’s all. I’ll be all right in a minute.’

  ‘Mr Gresham told me. Congratulations.’

  Beth couldn’t decide whether or not the words were meant. She and Rachel had worked in the same office for several years, but even though they were of a similar age, Beth didn’t think she would ever really know the woman. Rachel was friendly enough in a way, but she didn’t encourage familiarity. She kept very much to herself, and she never mixed with the younger girls. Some of the girls had taken to calling her the ‘old maid’ behind her back, especially Ginny Holbrook.

  ‘Bet she’s never had a man,’ Ginny had observed dismissively. ‘You can always tell. She wouldn’t know what to do with it if it was offered on a plate.’ Ginny Holbrook was nineteen; Rachel Fairmont was thirty-five, two years younger than Beth herself, and Beth sometimes wondered what was being said about her behind her back.

  She became aware that Rachel was talking to her again. ‘Sorry. What was that, Rachel?’

  ‘I said it’s a shame about Harry. I’ve always rather liked him. But then, we’ve all known for months that there would be redundancies. I wonder what he’ll do now? Did you know you were being considered for his job?’

  ‘No. No, I didn’t. Not until Mr Gresham had me in his office.’ Beth caught her breath. What a stupid thing to say! She hurried on. ‘It came as a complete surprise. I never expected it at all.’

  ‘Are you quite sure you’re all right?’ asked Rachel sharply. ‘You don’t sound it.’

  ‘I’m fine. Really, Rachel, I’m fine.’ Beth dabbed at her face again. She couldn’t put it off any longer. Rachel wasn’t going to go away. Beth stood up, straightened her clothing and flushed the toilet. The latch of the door was stiff and she had to push hard to get it open. She kept her head down as she made for the wash-basin and turned on both taps at once.

  ‘See? I’m fine,’ she said over her shoulder. ‘It’s just that I wasn’t expecting it, that’s all, and I came over a bit faint.’ She glanced into the mirror and wished she hadn’t. Her lips were swollen, her face shone like a beacon, and her hair was a mess. She caught a glimpse of Rachel’s critical eyes upon her, and ducked her head quickly. ‘Silly, of course, but when I came in here I burst out crying.’ She splashed water on her face, then turned swiftly to bury her face in the roller-towel, knocking her handbag over in the process.

  Rachel darted forwrad, but was too late to save it. Several items spilled across the floor. She knelt and scooped them back in the bag and set it back in place beside the basin.

  ‘Sorry,’ said Beth, not quite knowing why she was apologizing, except she felt she should. ‘I must look awful.’ Reluctantly, she let go of the towel and turned to face Rachel’s inquisitive eyes. Rachel dropped her gaze as if embarrassed, and Beth sighed heavily as she turned back to the mirror. She opened her handbag and began the tedious business of trying to repair the damage.

  Behind her, Rachel moved toward the door. ‘If you’re quite sure you’re all right, then, I have to go,’ she said. ‘I promised Mother I’d pick up her magazine and take it to her on my way home, so I’d better go before the shop closes. You will be sure to lock up, won’t you, Beth? Goodnight.’

  Chapter 2

  Beth woke with a start and shivered violently. The water was cold; the bubbles were gone and she felt stiff and sore all over. She pulled herself upright and climbed out of the bath. Her teeth chattered as she pulled a towel around her and began to dry herself.

  She jumped and almost fell over as someone pounded on the bathroom door. ‘Mam? You in there? Mam?’ The pounding began again.

  Lenny! ‘Oh, no,’ she groaned beneath her breath. ‘Not now. Not yet.’ She needed time; time to gather her wits and decide just how to break the news to him. She tried to speak; cleared her throat and tried again. ‘Yes, I’m in here,’ she called. ‘No need to knock the door down, Lenny. I’ll be out in a minute.’

  Beth pulled the plug and let the water drain away. Time enough to clean the bath later, she thought as she put on her dressing-gown. Not that she wanted to go out there and face Lenny, but she didn’t have much choice, did she?

  Lenny stood there facing her as she opened the door, garbed as usual in faded jeans and jacket and heavy boots. He was a full six inches taller than his mother, thin, lean-faced, hair lank, shoulder-length, and he looked as if he needed a shave. Where, she wondered, was that fresh-faced child with the halo of golden hair who lived so vividly in her memory?


  ‘Hello, dear,’ she said, dabbing at her face with a towel to avoid looking at him directly. He said nothing as she moved to go around him, but she could feel his eyes boring into her. What was she going to say? What could she say? Her legs trembled beneath her. She walked unsteadily to the table and sat down.

  ‘Well, what are you waiting for? You going to ask her or not?’

  Beth’s head snapped up. She hadn’t even seen the girl. Tania whatever her name was. She lounged against the wall, hands stuffed into the pockets of jeans that barely covered her hips. She wore a T-shirt, but she might as well have not bothered for all it covered. Beth looked with distaste at the expanse of pale young flesh. The girl stared back, eyes insolent, mocking. Beth looked away. Tania was nothing but trouble. Not the sort Lenny should be taking up with at all.

  ‘Well?’ Lenny demanded. ‘Did you do it? When can I get the money?’

  Beth looked up at him and slowly shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, Lenny, but I can’t do it,’ she said quietly. Her lips trembled. ‘I was almost caught today by Mr Gresham. I – I’m not sure, but I think he suspects. I daren’t try again. It’s too dangerous. You’ll have to find another way. I’ve done all I can.’

  ‘You didn’t…’ Lenny stared in disbelief. ‘For Christ’s sake, Mam, what do you mean, you didn’t do it? I need the friggin’ money. I need it now! You know what will happen if I don’t get it. You have to get it. There is no other way.’

  ‘I can’t. I’m sorry, Lenny, but I just can’t.’

  ‘But – but you said you would,’ the boy said desperately. ‘You did it once and it was all right.’ His brow darkened. ‘You did something stupid, didn’t you? Christ! I should have known you’d blow it. Where do you think that leaves me?’

  ‘Up shit creek without a paddle,’ the girl broke in contemptuously. ‘I told you she’d screw it up, Lenny. I told you she was scared. She doesn’t really care about you at all.’

  ‘But I do!’ Beth said, reaching out to touch her son. ‘I’ve tried my best. I’ve always tried my best for you, Lenny.’

  Angrily, he pulled away. ‘Your best?’ he sneered. ‘Christ! Look around you. Is this your best? You’re pushing bloody forty and this is all you’ve got to show for your life? Jesus Christ!’

  Beth looked down at her hands. ‘Please don’t take His name in vain, Lenny,’ she said softly. ‘You know I don’t like…’

  The boy rolled his eyes toward the heavens. ‘Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ!’ he said deliberately. ‘What do I have to say to get through to you?’ He grabbed a chair and sat down in front of his mother. ‘What happened?’ he demanded roughly.

  Beth avoided his eyes. ‘I tried,’ she said. ‘I really did, but Mr Gresham came up behind me just as I was about to enter the loan, and I had to cancel.’ She was on the point of telling him about the promotion, but the shame of the price she’d paid stopped her. Besides, Lenny would only see it as another opportunity for her to continue supplying him with money. ‘I’m sorry, Lenny.’

  ‘Sorry?’ Lenny’s fist hit the table like a sledge-hammer. ‘You stupid cow!’ His voice rose to a scream. ‘I need that money. I need it now! Don’t you understand what they’ll do to me if I don’t get it?’

  ‘They’ll kick the shit out of him,’ said the girl dispassionately. ‘Then they’ll carve his face.’

  ‘Shut up, Tan. Just bloody shut up,’ Lenny snarled. He ran grubby fingers through his hair as he turned back to face his mother. ‘Look, Mam,’ he pleaded, ‘Tan’s right. I have to have that money. You have to try again tomorrow. It was probably just coincidence that the manager happened to be there today. He didn’t say anything, did he? He can’t have done or you’d have been sacked. So he can’t know, can he? You can do it, Mam. You did it before.’

  Lenny’s voice dropped, coaxing, adopting the wheedling tone he’d used so successfully for years. Stupid cow. She never did catch on. All he had to do was coax her along. She’d come through. She always did in the end. He reached out and touched her hand. ‘You just had a bit of bad luck, today,’ he said soothingly. ‘Shook you up a bit, but it will be all right tomorrow. You’ll see. You do it right and we could be rolling in it.’

  Tomorrow. The thought of walking into the bank tomorrow morning sickened her, and she knew she couldn’t do it. Beth raised her eyes and looked at Lenny, ready to plead with him – to beg if necessary – but the words died on her lips.

  The face across the table bore no resemblance to the image of the little boy Beth had carried in her heart for so many years. It was the face of a man; a cruel and vicious man behind whose eyes lay nothing but contempt.

  She had always been so afraid of losing him, she thought bitterly; of losing his love. Sadly, she realized now that she had never had his love, nor anything remotely like it, and certainly not his respect. How he must despise her; despise her weakness; despise her pitiful efforts to earn his affection. He’d used her. He’d always used her and always would. Beth’s mind flashed to the scene in Gresham’s office that afternoon, and she shuddered with revulsion at what she’d done for Lenny’s sake.

  It was as if she’d been asleep and had suddenly come awake. The person sitting across from her was not her son. Her son was gone. He’d been gone for years. How could she have been so blind? How could he have turned out like this when she’d tried so hard?

  He’s like his father! The thought chilled her to the bone and took her breath away. She tried to force it from her mind, but it refused to leave, clinging like some earth-bound spectre to her consciousness.

  Guilt whispered in her ear: Perhaps it’s your fault. Perhaps this is your punishment. Perhaps … Angrily, Beth pushed the thought away. Guilt had crushed her in the past, but she wasn’t going to let it lay the blame on her again.

  ‘It’s finished, Lenny,’ she said quietly. ‘I’m finished. I can’t go on like this. You are going to have to stand on your own feet from now on. I can’t help you. You got yourself into this mess, and you’ll have to find your own way out.’

  Her voice began to break, but now that she’d started, she willed herself to go on. She might never find the courage again. ‘I want you out of the house by the end of the week. I don’t care where you go, but you can’t stay here.’

  He stared at her. ‘You don’t mean that, Mam,’ he said. ‘You’re just upset. You know what will happen if I don’t get that money, don’t you? And you wouldn’t let that happen to me, now would you, Mam?’ He reached for her hand but she drew it away.

  ‘I mean it, Lenny,’ she said firmly. She began to rise and turn away.

  The room exploded and she was on the floor. For a moment she didn’t know what had happened or where she was. Her face was on fire and her eyes refused to focus. She struggled to sit up, but Lenny was there beside her, one knee across her stomach, a hand around her throat, choking her. His fist was raised to strike again. She struggled feebly, but she knew she was no match for him.

  ‘Now you listen to me,’ he hissed. ‘You’re going back to that sodding bank tomorrow and you’re going to put that sodding loan through. Do you understand? I’m not asking you this time, Mam. I’m bloody telling you.’ He bent over her until his face almost touched her own. ‘And if you don’t, I’ll do you like I did that bloke in Buckland Road.’

  Beth felt as if her heart had stopped. She’d lied for Lenny under oath. Lied before God, refusing to believe that her son was capable of the crime of which he was accused. He’d sworn that he was innocent, and she’d believed him. She felt the rush of blood to her face as a small voice mocked her from within. But you knew, it whispered. Deep in your heart, you knew!

  He seemed to guess what was going through her mind. ‘That’s right,’ he said, smirking. ‘The coppers had it right all along, didn’t they? But you did so well on the stand that the old fart of a magistrate bought it, didn’t he?’ Beth flinched as he put out his hand and patted her cheek. ‘And you’ll get that money for me tomorrow, won’t you, Mam?’ he
went on softly. ‘Right? No more screw-ups. Got it, Mam?’

  Suddenly he was on his feet. ‘Come on, Tan,’ he said to the girl. ‘Let’s get out of here. This place stinks.’ He made for the door and went out. The girl followed more slowly. She paused beside Beth and stood looking down at her. ‘You’d better do as he says,’ she told Beth softly, ‘because you don’t know the half of it. He’s a rough bastard, your son, and he’d slice you as soon as look at you. You got off lucky this time.’

  * * *

  Beth sat at the table. She couldn’t stop shaking. She touched her face, probing gently. It felt as if it were on fire, and there was a smear of blood on her fingers. She should put a cold cloth on it, but that could wait.

  First, she had to make things right. The thought kept running through her head like an endless tape. Lenny had to be stopped. God knows why it had taken her so long to admit that he was using her; had used her ever since he was a child. But it was over now. Finished.

  He was violent. She had seen the look in his eyes after he hit her, and she knew he could have killed her. It was only because he thought he needed her that he’d held himself in check.

  She’d been terrified there on the floor, but she was determined not to be intimidated by her son’s threats. Rather they strengthened her resolve. She would go to the police. She had to make things right. Beth trembled at the thought, but it had to be done. And it had to be done now.

  But who…?

  Nancy! The name popped into her mind seemingly from nowhere. That was the name of the young policewoman who had been so kind at the trial. The one who had brought her a cup of tea while she waited, terrified of what might come. Nancy had been there all three days, and she’d been very kind. Beth had been so upset that Nancy had written down her home telephone number and told Beth to ring if she had any more questions. She wasn’t supposed to, she said, but she understood what Beth was going through. She had two boys herself.

  Beth rose slowly to her feet. Where had she put that number? She rummaged through the drawer beneath the telephone. It was on the back of a card … Ah! there it was. Nancy King. That was it.